This child parenting power can be used to help develop healthy child mental health for a Child ages 5 through 9. These children are entering the phase of development where new influences will begin to effect their emotional development. They are in the period of growth where parents are still the most powerful person in their life, but not for long. This will be the last chance you, as a parent, have to create a solid foundation on their future development. You are the center of their world. But as they leave your home environment they will meet new experts with advice that will challenge and impact their views. Along with these new experts will be new places, new expectations new rules and consequences that will effect your child emotionally and force them to develop new coping mechanisms. During this time of transition it is important for you the establish and uphold 2 Parenting PowersUse this parenting information as a resource to guide your child as they encounter these new challenges.
The 2 most crucial and vital Parenting Powers that you can implement at this time for your child are household rules and consequences for breaking the household rules. These 2 Parenting Powers will become the foundation to develop and form your family unit as everyone grows and becomes more active. These 2 Parenting Powers will help your child stay grounded, feel safe, develop coping mechanisms and develop trust in your relationship with them.
Child Parenting Power#1 - Household Rules will help your child enter into the outside social arena with little change to his expectations. He/she will understand that every new place he/she enters will have a clear set of rules that need to be followed. They will understand that these rules are not there to make them look or feel bad but to make the place run smoothly. They will understand that they matter and are a participant. It will provide him/her with and understanding that rules are not put in place for individuals but for the whole group. This will take the sting away from feeling singled out when an outside rule needs to be upheld. Household Rules will provide your child a sense of confidence and security. These rules turn into self-discipline. They will know what to do and when to do it. Repetition creates habit, habit creates knowing and knowing creates confidence. Knowing what to expect also creates security. Your child will feel safe in a home that is predictable. Their ability to predict what will happen takes fear out of the equation.
They know what happens at home and it never changes. Your household rules will help him/her thrive in the outside world full of rules and regulations. It will give him/her an edge up knowing that certain rules apply no matter if they seem fair, because they are for the greater good, and that the consequence applies to everyone whether they agree or not. It will help them to understand that they need to work within certain guidelines of organizations that apply to all who belong. It will help them accept others expectations and opinions without internalizing self-doubt.
Creating simple home rules that apply to all the young people in you house this will help your child learn to adapt to difficult situations. It will help them to increase their frustration level by creating coping skills and self-discipline.
When creating household rules it must be made clear that these rules are in place for their well being and cannot be broken or altered because they are pleading or you are tired. Let me repeat -
These rules cannot be broken or altered. No negotiating on these rules. You can create these rules as a family unit, or alone as the parental unit.
The rules that are created do not matter as much as the fact that children need structure and boundaries to thrive emotionally. So create rules that apply to your family. Rules that help your family reach goals or develop stronger relationships. Rules you can keep.
Some examples of these rules can be:
Your family eats dinner together every night, or one time per week….
Homework time is….everyday.
You must get ready for the next day before bedtime.
Everyone shows respect to each other by saying please and thank you.
Cleaning chores are done every Saturday, before playtime…
It is up to YOU to decide what is important to your family to develop stronger relationships and create participation in developing responsibility.
Not only does creating household rules, create an environment for you child to develop emotionally it creates a sense of belonging for them. It allows them the opportunity to learn that all members of the family have a role to play, no matter how small. It shows them that everyone is needed to make the family run smoothly and achieve optimal functioning. It will instill a sense of belonging in any organization they become a part of. They will learn that they are important no matter how small the role they play.
These rules and boundaries create a sense of safety for your child. Creating consequences for the rules if they are broken demonstrates that you mean what you say. They learn that they can trust your word. If you say something you mean it. So be mindful and only say what you mean.
Child Parenting Power#2 - Household Consequences. The second child parenting resource that is your parenting right and responsibility is household consequences. Now you and I know that creating the household rules does not mean that they are going to be followed. We all break the rules sometimes. So I will guarantee you that your child at some point will also break the household rule you have set.
So your second child parenting resource skill is to create consequence that will go with the rule.
These consequences need to be:
1. Age appropriate
2. Fitting to the household rule that was broken
3. Easy to uphold
The most important of these is number 3 the consequence must be easy to uphold.
Keep the consequence SIMPLE. Create a consequence that you can keep regardless of the pressure you may receive to change it. Create the consequence with yourself in mind. Create a consequence you know you will be able to uphold NO MATTER WHAT.
Your child needs to know that you say what you mean.
Never go back on your word.
If they learn that they can persuade you to change the rules it undermines your ability to keep them safe. Who else can change your mind when it comes to important things? This thought can create fear. Changing you mind undermines your ability to be an authority in your own home. Once your child learns that you break under the pressure of pleading, whining, crying and throwing or hitting they will always try to change your mind by doing just that. Never change your mind once you have made a statement that applies to the house rules. Especially when they are having a tantrum. Remember these rule are in place to keep them safe and to help them learn they are responsible. Remember you are teaching them self-discipline and confidence. Remember you are protecting them from displaying this outburst to others when they don’t get what they want in a public arena. Be strong and confident in the choices you make for them. Stick by them. Make them simple. And only create a few rules. That way you don’t have to worry about falling prey to changing your mind under pressure.
Some children accept the implementation of you using child parenting resource and work through this phase with grace. Other children experience upheaval and personal chaos when you implement child parenting resources. To determine if your child is having difficulty in this stage of development look at their behavior:
It is out of control? Do they listen when asked to do something, or do they ignore rules and commands to follow instruction.
Do they respond with verbal yelling or screaming statements of “I don’t have to” or “make me”?
Do they have temper tantrums? Do they kick and scream when they don’t get their way? Do they hit, bite or slam things around if they do not receive attention? Or do they secretly break things, or take things and not own up to it?
Are they able to play nicely with others? Do they have few to no friends? Do they feel isolated and think that no one likes them? Do they look sad, or refuse to join in activities? Do they get into fights with peers, or are bullying other children?
Are they doing good in school? Do they do their homework without argument or do they deny having any? Do they turn in assignments as required? Does the teacher report they are not paying attention, they won’t sit still or they are not organized?
If you are unable to maintain control of your child at home after implementing these 2 child parenting powers please don’t be afraid to seek help. Talk to a professional about ways to help your child. These behaviors can lead to much more as your child grows older into his/her tween and teen years. You need to gain control of your home and your child behavior before it turns into a situation that is detrimental to your child’s future using these 2 child parenting powers will help your child develop a strong mental health and behavioral health.
Please feel free to contact me at 708-730-2600, or firstname.lastname@example.org with questions. I love hearing from parents.
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