Self Love

Self love is one of the most important emotional behaviors that a person can develop.

  • Do you enter into addictive behaviors?
  • Do you interact in self depleting relationships?
  • Do you have a difficult time making personal positive lifestyle choices?
  • Are you struggling with finances?
  • Do you compare yourself to others?

These thoughts and behaviors are based on internal judgments and conditional love for yourself. Self love is developed as a child. You internalize the struggle to receive attention from others. You practice loving yourself based on the perception of what other think, say and believe about you. They are a price tag on your life.

If your caretakers were afraid and did not embrace their own self love, they did not know how to love you unconditionally. If this is true you will also become victim to the challenges of conditional love for yourself. You will feel less than, and not worthy of receiving. You will create unconscious roadblocks to the abundance of the world. You will not be open to developing and sharing your true talents and gifts. If you even believe you have any. You will be afraid to receive. You will work from a depleting point of action.

We have been conditioned to look at ourselves from a comparison viewpoint. We create a self value based on the things around us. We judge ourselves, where we should be and what we should have. These values create thoughts and the mind perception of self devaluation and depletion. We employ the thoughts that we are not good enough and therefore not worthy to achieve or receive until we get better.

But we never get better because we have incorporated and developed an internal stance of a less than mentality. We believe we need to prove ourselves before we can receive love. We do not believe we deserve love and engage in reinforcing that through negative thoughts and behavior. Then we enter into the vicious life cycle and self talk of how we don’t deserve to be loved.

This perception is so far from the truth. We are innately good and self love encompasses that perception. It is unconditional and understanding. It acknowledges the beauty of your being and that you need nothing to be perfect. It is self acceptance and patience. It is embracing your life without judgment.

If we question these facts of self love we create emotional behavior disorders and interact in dysfunctional relationships. We will practice emotional eating, over drinking, and use other substances to alter our thoughts. We will criticize others, become jealous and enter into victim stance of “poor me”. We will continue to enter into the vicious negative cycle of thinking that we need to be better to be loved.

We will reject joy and opportunities presented to us because we will be busy punishing ourselves, rejecting ourselves and judging ourselves.

So how do we develop and practice self love?

Create a positive network of resources for yourself. Practice self positive affirmation and daily motivation. Read, listen, and do things that are life supporting and mind enhancing. Learn new skills that create discomfort to your old depleting emotional behavior and thought patterns. Associate with people who are living a positive lifestyle. And never give into the internal self-battering jargon.

Learning how to love yourself is a necessary first step to overcome negative emotional thoughts and depleting behavior.

To schedule an appointment please contact me at 708-730-2600. 

We are born without self judgment without conditions, with true love. This unconditional love gets lost in the guilt of trying to please others, We internalize conditional love in our inner child. We learn the perception of needing to do something to be worthy of love. I say that you are already worthy of love and that you don’t need to do anything to unconditionally love yourself and, feel true joy and receive abundance.

If you suffer from dysfunctional relationships, If you would like to talk with someone 
Please contact me at 708-730-2600 to schedule an appointment. 

Return from self love to inner child home
Return from self love to mychildtherapist home

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Be Well!

Dr. Juliann